I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
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Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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