Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
