im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
