I wanna bring you to show and tell
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
