Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
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We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize