3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
