What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
