Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
