And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
bring money and cleavage
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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