Cold hands, warm shart.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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