the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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