I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize