hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
