I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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