Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
