do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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