And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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