Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
