so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
