wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Bring me that man meat
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
