i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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