I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
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