Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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