I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize