you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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