Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
