Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
