Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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