I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just want to make out with him forever
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
