they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
