"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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