he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm bleeding and have questions
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
