Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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