oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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