farters have to be the big spoon...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize