Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
This is the high leading the old right now
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Drunk is a universal language darling
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
