so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
