Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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