I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
