Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
