A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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