yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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