Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
