this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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