ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
