I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My bed smells like the plague
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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