the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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