And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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