My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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