I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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