She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
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