What a fucking waste of an outfit
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
