Little spoons don't ask big questions
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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