pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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