Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
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what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
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I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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