I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
