...so i touched it.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
