I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
