From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
