why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
where are my eyebrows?
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