dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I am available for nakedness
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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