I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
