I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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