I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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