party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
