I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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