i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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