I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
