Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
