Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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