it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
